redeemedserpent

Apr 17 2020

I’m Not Responsible for Cannibals

Praying mantis have always given me an eerie feeling, and in that eerie feeling, I feel a level of intrigue. These insects do not show loyalty to their own kind. If an insect is in arms reach, its good enough to eat.

The kids and I thought it would be a fun project to hatch a pair of praying mantis eggs. In each egg, you can get anywhere from 100 to 200 babies. It’s not realistic to keep them all as pets, so you need to thin out your bunch. Some people keep one and release the rest, but since they are fragile as babies, you are not guaranteed your pet will make it to adult hood. We decided to keep them all, and see which one survived. This way seems sad from a non cannibals’ perspective, but the truth is our pet will be eating live bugs whether their prey was hatched with them or came from another species all together. If the praying mantis viewed all bugs as food, then we would too.

I thought I came to terms with the fact that I wasn’t the one behind their cannibalistic nature. They were designed by God, and who am I to question God. Instead of leaving it at that, my hopeful thinking took over, and I bought fruit flies. This way they would have another food source and perhaps I could persuade nature to take another path.

In the next weeks, we watched these interesting bugs grow and shed their skin. A little over half of the babies didn’t make it, but I didn’t see the survivors eating each other. It seemed by keeping enough flies in their home, I could solve the problem of cannibalism. Why would they eat one of their own if they had another options. I felt empowered thinking my plan worked.

Everything was going great…..until the other egg hatched. Now I had two different sizes mantises. I kept them all together even thought a part of me knew it would be easier for the older ones to view the new arrivals as prey. I still naively believed I could get most of them not to act on their cannibalistic nature if I did my part. Oh, how wrong I was.

One night, I got more fruit flies but hadn’t had the chance to switch out the containers. The next morning, I walked by and looked up at the praying mantises on the shelf. Right then, a big one grabbed a little one and started eating it. My heart dropped as I took full resposablitly for its actions. Had I put the new fruit flies in there the night before, this catastrophe would have been avoided. I spent the next moment frustrated with myself and feeling guilty as I got ready to add the new flies. When I got the mantis enclosure down, I was shocked to see there were fruit flies all over the place!

The guilt lifted off my shoulders as I realized I had nothing to do with the choice of this mantis. He acted on his own regardless of my efforts to help him make a “better choice”. The funny thing was the choice was better through my eyes, not his. It wasn’t my food he rejected. He didn’t see the different between the little mantis and the fruit flies; he saw food.

In life, we tend to take on the responsibility for other peoples actions. We think we can get them to choose what we think is best if we act a certain way, remove their obstacles, or get them to see a situation from our point of view. It’s hard to accept the fact that even if we do everything we believe to be true others may not see it our way. People will always view life through their eyes and make choices that they feel are best for them.

When we see that we are not responsible for others actions, it can be frustrating. If we don’t have the power to make their decisions for them or persuade them down our path, it leaves us open to be offended or hurt. We don’t need to take these feelings on. Instead of seeing how powerless we are over others, we can focus on how powerful we are over ourselves. We get to decide how others actions and beliefs affect who we are created to be. Our freedom is in letting others have control over their choices and leaving the outcome with them. When we learn to do this, it becomes easier to hold ourselves responsible for our actions without taking on our loved one’s life choices. Those burden were never ours to carry.

Feb 10 2020

Cricket Cake

Countries all over the world view crickets as a food source high in nutrition. This knowledge has not yet reached America. My son Gavin and I had a fun day finding out how far his cub scout pack is from excepting this food source into their diets.

Since crickets are popular to feed pet reptiles, I thought it would be fun to do a snack post for our blog. At the same time, Gavin needed a cake idea for his scout group. We talked about how it’s helpful for scouts to know what is edible in nature. We decided to combine this knowledge with his cake.

I have had some experience cooking crickets in my past. I helped lead a youth group years ago, and we had done a Fear Factor night. One of our challenges was eating crickets. Once I got past my preconceived notion about crickets being edible, I tried one of the roasted little critters myself. I was pleasantly surprised with the nutty taste the crunchy cricket offered.

I was excited to give cooking crickets another try, and Gavin was excited to try the new food choice. We went to work on our unique idea. My vision was to place the crickets on top. Gavin had a better idea. He took the bowl and dumped them out. He created a masterpiece… although the rest of the group didn’t seem to see our point of view. I began to hear the whispers and instantly started to feel uncomfortable. While I knew bringing a cricket cake would bring up some controversy, my insecurity surfaced as the afternoon unfold.

Parents were asking my kids what I made the crickets out of. People were questioning the sanitation of our choice, and wondering if crickets were edible. As I started regretting our cake, I turned my heart to God for comfort. He reminded me, “people who make a difference in the world are not received well by everyone”. I realized the concern was from a lack of knowledge of insects being a food source. It’s OK for people to respond to a new concept with questions.

I do have to say I was proud of the way Gavin’s den leader handled it. Two of the dads went to him whispering about the cricket cake. He didn’t join in with the gossip but confidently said, “that is Gavin’s cake, and his mom is sitting right there if you have any questions”.

The two gentlemen looked at me with questioning looks as I replied, “crickets are a good source of nutrition and are enjoyed in other countries around the world.”

During this time, I was still struggling with our choice. Did we cost Gavin a chance to place in the contest? Should we have copied a Pinterest post? In the next moments, I tried my best to pull my confidence from what I knew to be true. By the time the votes were counted, I had lost hope in people seeing the beauty in his cake. Non the less, I paid close attention when the announcer took the stage and was shocked when I heard his cake number called. I stood up and yelled to Gavin across the room, who had no idea what his cake number was, “Gavin, that’s your cake!!!! Go get your prize!!! You won first place!!!!”. At that moment all the fear and uncomfortable feelings fell away. I realized it always pays off to show up as your true self even if you are not well-received by others.

His cake may have won him a Pinewood Derby car, but only a few people were brave enough to try the delicious dessert. The crickets didn’t change the taste, but they did offer a nice crunch. It had the texture of a thin wafer crumbled up in the icing. It’s sad to think our preconceived ideas can lead us to miss unique opportunities. Eating crickets is not a moral issue and shouldn’t be in a right or wrong category. Sometimes it’s the self-made block in our mind that holds us back from experiencing something new.

On a side note, I believe in taking on one controversy at a time….. I never told them the cake was also gluten free. We’ll save that debate for another day.

For those of you who are adventurous and brave here are the steps we took in cooking the crickets.

1- Freeze them for two to three hours. This will cause them to slip into a hibernation state before they die.

2- Preheat oven to 200 degrees.

3- Wash the crickets.

4- Pat them dry.

5- Place them on a cookie sheet and slip them into the oven for about an hour.

6- Enjoy

Jan 28 2020

Jane’s Hypothetical Bite

My most loved reptile was Jane, an Argentina Tegu. For years, she was my baby, my pride, and joy. I let go of my whole reptile collection, so I could focus solely on her. Her temperament was calm, curious, and willing to let new people hold and cuddle her. Once, she was invited to entertain some students at a school I assisted at. She walked around the class room as little hands reached out to pet her, and she seemed to enjoy the whole experience. The kids talked about that day for the rest of the year.

I bought Jane in my mid 20s. She had been my dream reptile since Jr High. To gratify my itch for a tegu, I had been collecting other species I admired believing a tegu was out of reach. One glorious day, Jane fell into my lap. It’s common for hatchlings to be a bit more skittish, and sometimes a baby tegu will need a lot of handling before they are calm and enjoy interaction. That was not the case with Jane. She was calm from the beginning.

I loved owning Jane. Everyone around me was fascinated with her. She made me see a side of my personality I love. I moved around five times while owning her, and my first thought every time was, can Jane move with me? My parents ended up building her a six- foot enclosure at their house, so when I came home to visit, she would have a place to stay.

During this time in life, I was involved in church ministry and loving it. I ended up stumbling into a relationship with a guy who wasn’t a good fit for me. The relationship started an internal struggle with feelings of being pulled in two different directions. No matter how I tried to justify my choices and put on a front of a “good Christian girl” following the rules of my religion, in my spirit, I knew I was headed down a dark path. I loved God desperately but kept feeling pulled away by these unhealthy decisions. Back then, I had a religious belief that God would distance himself from me if I wasn’t living my life up to His standards. I was working hard to keep up with church duties, and my conflicting relationship.

One day God impressed a question on my heart. “Would you be mad at Jane if she bit you?”

I remember thinking, of course not. I loved Jane. Even though I held her close to my heart and couldn’t imagine her hurting me, I knew she was still a lizard. She didn’t have the intelligence I had and didn’t understand my ways. She didn’t know what my heart felt toward her. While up until that point her temperament had been nothing less than a model tegu, the risk of her getting spooked and reacting aggressively was always there. I replied with, “no, of Course not. She is a lizard and that’s what lizards do.”

Instantly, I felt God’s reply, “I’m not mad at you when you sin. You are a human and that’s what humans do.”

My eyes filled with tears as a little more of Gods love was reveled to me in that moment. I didn’t turn my life around immediately. It took me some time to reach a turning point and start down a new path. But, I do remember the change of not feeling the shame and guilt. God loved me and was willing to work with me through my unhealthy choices. The most important thing to Him was not my “perfect walk” but rather an honest walk close to His heart.

I have reflected on this love encounter with God over the past 16 years, and I still draw more revelation from it. Satan’s goal is not to get us to sin. His goal is to draw us away from our relationship with God. He knows he can’t separate us from God’s love, but he can get us to believe it’s a possibility. He did it with Adam and Eve in the garden. They were the ones who hid from God after sinning. God knew what they had done, and He was the one who went to them. God wasn’t afraid of their sin. I wonder what would have happened if Adam and Eve had gone to God the moment they realized the weight of what they had done? Would the outcome have been different?

Today, I see it’s not the sin that breaks the heart of God, but the distance we put between us and Him. When we run from Him, we are subconsciously saying, “we believe what Satan says about your love rather than what You say”. God is clear about the love He has for us. I love the way Romans 8:38-39 says it:

So now I live with the confidence that there is nothing in the universe with the power to separate us from God’s love. I’m convinced that his love will triumph over death, life’s troubles, [ai] fallen angels, or dark rulers in the heavens. There isnothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken his love. 39 There is no power above us or beneath us—no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One!

While my walk with God will always have room for growth, I don’t measure His love by the choices I make in this life. Instead, I measure it by the choice He made to show His love for us.

Nov 08 2019

The Beauty in Letting Go

Have you ever thought of the words “letting go”? To me, the word “go” is positive, but the act of letting go can feel negative. I have always had a hard time letting go whether it be a boy friend who wasn’t good for me or a favorite worn out t-shirt. Letting go always came with feelings of guilt and abandonment. It seems surprising to me the word “go”, which has positive feelings as in she is a go-getter, or he is going straight to the top, would be connected to such a heart breaking act of loss.

This season of my life I have had to do a lot of letting go. I have let go of situations and objects I love and thought I would never be able to live without. I have had feelings of guilt and sadness. As I say good-bye to a way of life I thought would last much longer, God has shown me another side to letting go.

Last year, my oldest daughter, Jennika, started getting interested in reptiles. You can imagine my excitement in her taking a liking to one of my greatest passions. Her interest was geared toward bearded dragons. I like all reptiles, but some I like more than others. I would put the bearded dragons in the low middle of my list. They are wonderful creatures, and even though they come from Australia, one of my favorite places, they don’t have the wow factor for me. In spite of my input and showing her some unique lizards, she stuck to her guns and researched the bearded dragon. She spent months saving her money and pestering me about buying her dream pet. Her heart was fixed on a baby red morph even though they are a bit pricier.

My concern about a baby was the lifespan. They can live 8 to 12 years, and some have made it to 15. Will she still be interested in her beloved pet later on down the line, or will I be caring for a reptile who doesn’t rank high on my most loved list? I decided to talk to her about getting an older one who needed a new home. Since they are one of the most popular pet reptiles, you can always find a variety in need of a place to live.

One day I was walking, and I got a message from an acquaintance of ours. Her brother was looking to re home his bearded dragon for $40 including the tank, heat system, and furnishings. I jumped at the opportunity. At that time in life, I thought every opportunity that came my way I had to take. I have learned since then, that is not the case. When I told my daughter about the opportunity, she was excited at the thought of getting her dream pet at last, but there was a little sadness that it wasn’t fully what she was looking for. Her feelings of “this is good enough” won over, and we took the trip to get the dragon.

Looking back on it, I’m not sure this was the great deal I thought. The bearded dragon was missing toes and looked haggard all the way around. The tank was not in great shape and neither was the heating system. Jennika held the less than perfect dragon and happily handed over her money.

About a month later, some unexpected events happened. I packed up the family and reptiles and headed to my parents house to wait out this difficult season. We did our best in our temporary living situation but were not able to offer our new pet the bigger tank he needed. Even my mom, who is not a reptile fan, felt this guy needed something more.

One day, I was switching around some other reptiles and their tanks. I had built a tortoise box for our tortoise which opened up a bigger tank for the leopard geckos. As I was playing merry-go-round (see another “go” in a pleasant description) with the reptiles habitats, I was thinking about how Jennika loved the idea of her pet, but she wasn’t bonding to him. I decided to talk to her about letting go of her bearded dragon.

She didn’t want to at first, and the truth was I didn’t either. We liked the less than perfect guy even though he wasn’t fitting in with us during this season. When its time to let go of something, often times you have feelings of guilt, failure, and loss. After talking about it for the morning, we decided to say good-bye to our haggard little friend. I listed him on Craiglslist for free, and his tank for $20. I explained to Jennika this wasn’t a situation to try to get her money back. Sometimes you have to cut your losses.

He was listed on the site for about an hour when I got my first text. A guy wanted to come look at him but wouldn’t be able to come for about 3 hours. I ended up getting two text in that time, but I had a feeling to hold out for this first guy. That evening a man showed up with his wife and kids. They took an instant liking to our bearded dragon. They loved how sweet he was. His missing toes didn’t bother them. Turns out, they had other bearded dragons and a place for our guy already. They even had an outside enclosure set up. I couldn’t believe it. Our haggard sweet guy was going to a place where he would be cared for better than we could care for him. I was able to let the guilt go.

We ended up talking to the family a little longer and told them all about how Jennika actually wanted a baby red morph. To my surprise, the guy walked to his car and took out a blue bin with about 15 baby bearded dragons. To top it off, he had some red morphs! He looked at Jennika and said, “would you like to trade?” I had to fight back tears as God spoke to my heart saying, “When you let go in faith, I will replace your loss with what works better for you”.

Gods timing is impeccable. Not only did He take something that didn’t fit and replace it with what our hearts truly wanted, He made sure we had a place for it. When I switched around the other reptiles that morning, I ended up with an empty 10 gallon tank. The perfect living space for a baby bearded dragon!

I was ecstatic for days thinking about what we gain when we trust God, and let go. I didn’t even see it from the bearded dragons point of view at first. Our letting go wasn’t only a better situation for us but a better situation for the breaded dragon as well. That’s when it hit me. God doesn’t deal in win-lose situations. When God is involved, it’s always win-win.

I began to think of the people in my life that I have had to let go of because it wasn’t a good situation for me. I always felt so guilty; I had taken on their well-being as my responsibility. I felt like I was abandoning them. Writing those last sentences is humbling. Who did I think I am? Why did I think other people are my responsibility? Jesus already sacrificed His life. No need for me to do the same.

I realized when we hold onto an unhealthy relationship we are not stopping our growth alone but the other persons as well. We can not make someone else better. Jesus alone can do that. When we let go, we free ourself and the other person. Now we both have the choice to walk down the path of restoration.

One thing we need to keep in mind is letting go of someone doesn’t always mean saying good-bye forever or saying good-bye at all. Sometimes we need to say good-bye for a season. Sometimes we need to let go of the responsibility for their life we took on. Letting go of someones decisions and being OK with their choices, no matter how it affects us, is challenging, but it can be the freedom we are looking for. The out come of letting go doesn’t look the same in every situation. We need to let go in faith without knowing what will come next.

Sometimes it’s not a person we are being asked to let go of. A great number of times we need to let go of materials or a way of life. I remember another lesson God showed me when I first came to my parents house. My one year old was eating a watermelon. He had gotten down to the rind, but he didn’t want to stop there. He continued to eat. When I tried to take the rind from his hand, he held onto it with every bit of one year old strength he had while screaming and crying. He never looked at me. He couldn’t take his eyes off the rind. Had he looked up at me, he would have seen another piece in my other hand waiting for him. There was no room for me to give him the new piece before he gave up the old. As I wrestled with this unbelievably strong toddler, God started speaking to my heart. When we keep our eyes on what we think we can’t live without, we miss what God has for us in His other hand.

This season has taught me that letting go is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s the way we move forward and moving forward is always good. Now I look at the word “go” and see how it belongs in the act of letting go.